Catisms from the Wise Cat

Be independent always.

If you get locked in a closet, take a nap, some human will let  you out eventually and give you a treat.

In case a hasty retreat deems necessary, find the shortest way off the bed and out of the room. I have found that the very best way to exit is at a high rate of speed, over the sleeping human's face and across the bedside table.  Take care not to slip on the human's belongings such as eyeglasses, keys and books on the table. This is unpleasant.



If you find your bowl empty at  4 AM, moew loudly and fain starvation.

Play a thundering game of tag or hockey with your feline friends at 4 AM.


Avoid allowing affection and hugs from your humans, its undignified. Unless its 4 AM, then demand it loudly.

Sleep where ever you want, and don't move for anything.

Nap on the stairway, stretching out as much as possible.

Try your best to trip your human in the dark by circling his feet.  This works best if your fur is black and so is the floor.

If your fur is white, right before your human leaves for work, looking good in his nice black trousers, be sure to rub against his leg to deposit as much hair as possible on him.


Leave hairballs on the carpet daily.  Be sure to place them where your human won't step on them till they are cold and your human is barefoot.