Just what is this ego thing anyway?

Just what is this ego thing anyway?  I have come to realize that I'm not as literate as I thought I was.  I have looked up words to check the spelling only to find out I didn't have the meaning exactly right.

The word ego is one of them. The almighty google claims that according to Webster ego's first meaning is : " the self especially as contrasted with another self or the world."--  What?--  The website also says it is the opinion that you have about yourself.  I get that one!  So its not necessarily the monster that makes your head big.   About.com Psychology says that according to Freud, " the ego is part of personality that mediates the demands of the id, the superego and reality. The ego prevents us from acting on our basic urges (created by the id), but also works to achieve a balance with our moral and idealistic standards."

So, the ego is just a mediator, kind of like a conscience?

"The id is the personality component made up of unconscious psychic energy that works to satisfy basic urges, needs, and desires. The id operates based on the pleasure principle, which demands immediate gratification of needs."

 So is the id the one that gives us the big head?

So what the heck is this superego crap?  OK, superego  (according to About.com Psychology) "is the component of personality composed of our internalized ideals that we have acquired from our parents and from society. The superego works to suppress the urges of the id and tries to make the ego behave morally, rather than realistically."--What?--  My brain is beginning to hurt again!

But I think that the question I have been pondering on the most is the relationship between ego (or is it really id?) and humility. AA squash the ego down and Al-anon, the other side of the AA coin, wants to build the ego up.  Both, (actually all) of the 12 step programs, use the AA steps as their guidelines.  From looking in all the Al-Anon literature I have could I find any reference to ego at all.  Perhaps AA talks about egocentricity which Webster says is "excessive interest in oneself."  

Oh now I get it!  (I think) " Ego" gets a bad rap for his or bigger cousin "egocentricity".  So when AA talks about removing the "bondage of self" they are not saying ego should be stamped out of existence.  Ego is a good and necessary.  Ego is not excessive pride. Ego is just self.  Perhaps egocentricity should be called  idocentricity.

Glad I have that straight.  My brain definitely hurts again.  I nearly called this post "how to drive your self crazy".

The Cypress Analogy

There is a Cypress Tree growing in my front yard.  The old cypress has very distinctive leaves. When they fall in the autumn, I can always recognize which leaves are from that tree.  As I rake my yard, I notice some of "my" leaves have fallen in the neighbors yard.  I  think that maybe I should rake their yard too since they are  "my" leaves, but I resist the urge.  They can clean up their own yard if they want to.

I apply this to life in this way:  Even if some of my actions are the catalyst for another persons reaction, it is not my fault.  Some of my stuff is bound get mixed in with theirs. It is not my responsibility to keep any one else's property clean.

(now my brain hurts.)  ;)

Wilson Creek

Many moons ago, on warm spring afternoons, after high school let out for the day, my friends and I would go wading in Wilson Creek in Dearborn county, Indiana, near Lawrenceburg.

 In some places, the water was so deep that we would hike up our skirts as far as possible so that we wouldn't get our dresses wet.  I think this particular wading place has been bull-dozed to make room for a Wal-Mart.  This photo isn't of OUR Wilson Creek, but it does look just like my memories of it.  I call this poem Contentment.



CONTENTMENT



I step carefully in the cool water


Making sure the slippery rocks

Do not alter my footsteps

And send me splashing among the minnows.

Trees arch over the stream

And keep it shaded for all who come to explore.

The clear water acts as a window

Showing crayfish burrowing in the silt

And scampering from my toes.

The shallow stream travels over small rapids

And skims over stones colored by green moss.

It speeds on, curving and twisting,

And continues flowing to unknown places,

Enchanting unknown explorers

As myself.