Music in My Soul

Now that I have found out which "soul" I mean, I can start my blog.  I hate those stupid words that sound the same but have different meanings.  What are those words called?---homonyms, that's it---they trip me up every time. Nothing like an English lesson to distract me from an excellent topic.

Anyway, about music.

Our family was musical.  We sometimes had family jam sessions in our living room.  My mom led the pack on the piano, my grandfather played mandolin, my sister would play guitar and I would sing.  My dad was, ironically, tone deaf.  Mom always dreamed of being a singer with one of the "big bands" of the 40's but she always let me sing. She could really bang out a tune on the piano too!  She would play the melody with her right hand and play rhythmic cords with her left.  Most of the music we played had a relatively fast tempo.  Occasionally, on summer days, people in the town walking by the house or riding bikes, would linger in front of the house to listen.

Unfortunately, that all stopped when I became ill and lost my singing voice. Hearing the music and not being able to participate, made me very sad.  I guess it must have been too hard on the others too or maybe the time had just come and gone.  About that time had also lost our mandolin player.

I stopped going to church about that time, because the only reason I liked going to church was that I got to sing. 

After a time, I realized that music was a part of me as much as my very soul.  So my record collection began to grow.  It was the 70's and there was a lot of music to choose from. Some of my favorites were; The Beatles, The Who, Carol King, James Taylor and Arlo Guthrie.  Geez, there are so many others! When I'm feeling down,the words to some of those songs I loved still fill my head.

Lately, I have been thinking of the great Rock Opera Tommy which should be included as a classic in my opinion.  Pete Townshend was as much a musical genius as Mozart. The words that keep running through my head of late are "my name is Tommy and I became aware this year..." I feel like I have become aware this year too. (it's about time!)

Then there is Arlo Guthrie, he is the son of the folk singer Woody Guthrie.  Arlo is most famous for "Alice's Restaurant Massacree",  an approximately 20 minute comical look at the (military) draft.  But what I most remember is his rendition of Somebody Turned on the Lights written by Hoyt Axton. In his words Arlo sings "If you never see the sun till '91, don't you never give up the fight..."  I don't think he meant 2091, but, hey, it works for me.

It was Carol King who sang  the words "music is playing inside my head, over and over again...", which run through my head from time to time.

I feel sorry for this younger generation that will never hear or be moved this music.  I know my  that daughter is nothing but bored when we try to get her to listen to it as part of her education.  She begs to differ.

I suppose every generation thinks that their music is the best. I remember my mom saying that she was confused on hearing back up singers when they first became popular.  She thought the radio was picking up two stations.  I can't imagine what she would think of today's music.

I hope "my" music never stops playing inside my head.  It keeps me sane.

Spring? Don't get your hopes up

I came across these 2 ancient poems. One I wrote in High School and another I wrote way back in 1996.  Hey, I get spring fever as much as the next girl, I'm just sayin....





                      The Herald of Spring


I must hasten now

To attempt grasping today's temperate air

February's hours do not often

Present this kind of atmosphere.

So I must tread through the partially melted  snow

Before winter's icy hand

Retrieves the harald of spring

And persuades me inward

Away from the frost.



                                      Spring


Spring arrived this year

With eight feet drifts

That covered tulips, daffodils

And cars.

It makes one fear

That winter will never end.

But still the air is warm

And the sun sometimes shines in rainbow streaks

Through the windows.

The daffodils

Are straightening up

Like defiant soldiers

Assuring us that spring will indeed come

In spite of the snow.

Rocks

                                                    Rocks



It is may be difficult

For one to stack the rocks,

And knocks,

Of life

Into a stable tower,

Especially when they are made of glass.

But you keep trying.

And when they fall down,

Which they often do,

You just have to stack them up again.

You may never get it right.

Even if They Don't Remember Arlo

     Today is my birthday, I am 22280.25 days old so I know a thing or 3 about aging.  As we age the natural order of things is for people in the prime of life to take over things.   I think it is sometimes hard for us to let go of our life long positions, that we worked hard for, to some "kid".  But wasn't it just yesterday when we were just kids?  I know how I feel, and I don't really want a-- surgeon, for example, who feels like I do, working  on me!  I think I'm ready to let the younger people take over.

     And speaking of kids, are mentors any different?  The time comes for them to take over too. Oldsters like me are sometimes wise with experience, yes, however, sometimes a younger person can give a  fresh new spin on things.  Personally, young people make me feel young, they remind me of my hippie days before I was jaded by life.  Isn't happiness and well being the most important thing?  I may not share every ones idea of how to do things, but everybody is different.  For instance, the same medicine doesn't work the same for everyone with the same malady.  That's why there are so many different medications to treat it..  So it stands to reason that there is more than one path to happiness.  I want to use the path less traveled.  I always have.

Never Alone and Nueva Poem

     God is a committee.  That statement is not unchristian.  I was raised catholic and I was taught that there are  3 persons in God, Father, Son and Holy Spirit.  The God of my understanding is another committee head that I can relate to better.  Ever since I figured out that I was not a pagan, (not that there is anything wrong with that) and I could still be Christian. I've been having lots of God moments.

     The first one I just remembered today.  I was having severe turmoil in my life about a year ago, but I slept very soundly at night. After the second or third night, I woke smiling and thinking of the song "Beautiful Dreamer"  I hadn't thought of that song in years, but it was going through my head that morning.  I figured God was singing me a lullaby.

     Here is another God moment.   I grew up in an alcoholic home, and I remember feeling invisible a lot of the time while growing up.  I was recently walking around town here contemplating how much time I spent alone, when I heard a distinctive voice in my head that said "You know you never were really alone".  I think I must have looked around to see who said that.  It came from another place in my head.  A chunk of the weight I had been carrying on my shoulders all my life had dissolved and I felt physically lighter!  I couldn't believe it.  Things like that just don't happen to me!

  The Weight

Time was

When the weight of the world was on my shoulders

It just sat there spinning

I had no control

Over its spinning.

I was helpless.

The weight crushed me,

So that I could not breathe,

It kept getting heavier each day.

I was on my knees with the burden.

Now I have learned how,

To remove the spinning weight from my shoulders,

So that I can stand at my full height,

Fill my lungs to capacity,

And live at last.

************************************************************

                          Nueva                              



Even in the coldest winter

The unending breeze

Aids in my understanding.



The clouds move quickly and with grace

above the swaying branches

of the tallest trees.



The power is invisible

And can only be perceived.

Sometimes it seems cruel,

Sometimes kind.



Warm or cold,

Weak or strong,

The beauty remains the same.

Sometimes it even glows.